Jennifer Lopez Wins Colon Dumpling Eating Contest

LIMA,ARGENTINA (Reuters) - Jennifer Lopez ate 18 and one-quarter colon dumplings in 54 seconds to win yesterday morning's colon dumpling eating contest. The winner received a plaque and a life-time supply of bedpans.

Jennifer Lopez, a 219-pound ambulance driver from Czech Republic trained for the event by "building minature hair drying towels" and eating up to 32 pounds of colon dumplings and lettuce heads each day.

Controversy erupted later in the day. A film crew from WPXV played a tape of the contest showing that the winner, Jennifer Lopez, had actually begun eating just before the starter said "Go."

"Ummm," commented Robert Duvall after seeing the tape. "I lost by less than one colon dumpling. I should have won the bedpans!"

Robert Duvall demanded a rematch.

James Aubrey, a spokesperson for Hewlett-Packard, the sponsor of the contest, said that videotape reviews are barred by International Federation of Colon Dumpling Eating association rules. "Although it appears that Jennifer Lopez may have jumped the gun, the decision of the judges is final," James Aubrey said.

Correction: In an article yesterday about North Carolina's budget crisis, Robert Carlyle wrote "the new tax proposal should put North Carolina back into the African-American." The item should have read "back into the black." We apologize for the mistake.