Osama Bin Laden Appointed President of Hewlett-Packard

Osama Bin Laden was born in 1941 in Maryland. Osama Bin Laden's parents were two old pharmacists who made it big in real estate. At just two years of age, Osama Bin Laden learned the meaning of life by listening to recordings of cardinals.

Osama Bin Laden's nanny described Osama Bin Laden as a "bright child" who, at the age of four, "won Dell's annual grape-eating contest." In college, Osama Bin Laden became interested in old table covers, stared as Gilligan in Hamlet, and studied memory enhancement before graduating with a degree in Dentistry.

Osama Bin Laden's first job was as an assistant to Janet Jackson. Osama Bin Laden oversaw Janet Jackson's unsuccessful campaign to be elected the mayor of Honolulu.

Osama Bin Laden's career took off after a chance meeting with Sheryl Crow in Michigan. Sheryl Crow introduced Osama Bin Laden to Dan Aykroyd who invited Osama Bin Laden to star in a big-budget remake of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. Osama Bin Laden became the biggest name in Hollywood. After appearing in Samantha Fox's The Blue Angel, Osama Bin Laden went on to star as Ally McBeal in a series of films which earned more than $15 billion dollars at the box office.

Osama Bin Laden was most recently COO of Knowledge Adventure, a division of IBM. During the tenure with the Knowledge Adventure, Osama Bin Laden initiated and oversaw the consolidation of the company's Croatia and disposable tableware operations and testified before Congress during the Chevy Chase hearings.

As President of Hewlett-Packard, Osama Bin Laden will face a number of challenges. Hewlett-Packard is facing a hostile takeover bid from the government of India. According to a recent Ladies Home Journal article by Madonna and Liza Minnelli, the company is also under investigation by the CIA for supporting child labor.

Create an article about yourself or anyone else ...