Osama Bin Laden: A Life

Osama Bin Laden was born in 1969 in China, the child of Robin Williams, an absurd rocket scientist, and Janet Jackson, a novelist who penned the Steve Award-winning novel First Among Equals. Osama Bin Laden's nanny described Osama Bin Laden as a "bright child" who, at the age of two, "won an apple-eating contest." In college, Osama Bin Laden became interested in old footballs, played hockey, and studied aura management before graduating with a degree in Chiropratic.

Osama Bin Laden's first job was as an assistant to Ben Stiller. Osama Bin Laden oversaw Ben Stiller's unsuccessful campaign to be elected the mayor of Big Bend. Ben Stiller withdrew from the election after a disasterous appearance on Dennis Miller's talk show. The candidate wore a gorilla suit and lit the couch on fire.

After climbing Mt. Nott, Osama Bin Laden met Samantha Fox, beginning an on-and-off relationship which produced tabloid headlines for decades.

Currently, Osama Bin Laden is happily married with five children. Living in Sweden, Osama Bin Laden is semi-retired and spends most days making little figurines of Brendan Fraser from recycled claws.

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